


What Do You Miss?

by spinsters_grave



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: all the space family, anime is mentioned (no not anime), kids need to deal with their emotions, okay this is also sad b/c that's all i know how to do, pidge is nice b/c i'm tired of her being the sarcastic shit all the time, slight coran/alfor if you tilt your head towards the sun b/c i am a sucker, the space family talks about what they miss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 22:14:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8507437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinsters_grave/pseuds/spinsters_grave
Summary: (This trope has probably been done a lot of times but whatever)Everyone misses something, right?





	

“I have an idea- We all miss Earth, right? Why don’t we get everyone together and talk about what we miss the most?”

 

Pidge looked up from her laptop and thought for a second. She seemed to take it seriously, which was a real comfort for Lance. “You know what? I know you need that, so I’m not going to say no. Let’s do it,” she said.

 

Lance squealed and smiled wider than he thought he ever had. “You’re the best, Pidge.”

 

Pidge smiled, a little sheepishly. “Thanks. Love you too, loser.”

 

***

 

It took a week for Lance to convince everyone. Hunk and Allura were on board right away- “Team bonding!” “I can’t wait to get closer to you guys, be a real part of the team!”

 

Shiro took a couple days to convince. “I don’t know, Lance, it’ll be hard to persuade everyone else… Not everyone is comfortable with sharing such a vulnerable part of themselves.”

 

“C’mon, Shiro, you know we all need it. There aren’t any therapists in space, so we’re all we got.”

 

“I suppose you’re right.”

 

Keith takes the longest to agree. It’s not like he refused to do it, it’s just he didn’t say anything whenever Lance brought it up, especially around everyone else. Which was the only time that Lance would really see him. Keith was not a very social person.

 

Finally, Lance got him alone. It took a ‘fun’ conversation to get Keith to agree, but agree he did, and then they were all sitting in the common room, wrapped in blankets and good feelings.

 

***

 

“I’ll go first,” Lance said, “since I had the idea. What I miss most about Earth is, no surprise, the ocean. You know, surfing, the babes, the boardwalks… everything needed for a fun day in the sun.”

 

Hunk smiled. “Oh, man, I remember you hanging out with your mom and dad at the beach and you were so excited that you plunged in head-first and you got green boogies because the water was so salty- and then you cried because you thought you were going to die, or that you were going to turn into an alien, and your mom had to carry you home while you were being dramatic and vowing to resign to your fate, if only-”

 

Pidge laughed.

 

Lance winced. “Yes, Hunk, thanks for that interesting tidbit. Oh, Pidge, shut up!”

 

Pidge snorted. “I’m sorry, Lance, but that sounds just like you!” She tried to get her poker face back, but she would dissolve into giggles sometimes.

 

Lance scowled and crossed his arms. “It wasn’t that funny.”

 

Pidge mock-scowled right back. “I’m tired! Everything is funny to me right now.”

 

“Fine. Why don’t you go next, then, since you seem to be having so much fun.”

 

Pidges smile faded from her face. “Alright. Fine. So what I miss most about Earth… I’d have to say is my mom. I can’t even imagine what she feels like right now, with both of her children missing along with her husband… I just hope I can see her again one day.” Pidge sniffed.

 

“Aww,” Lance cooed. “We’re here for you.” He wrapped Pidge up in his koala arms and held on for a couple minutes. Pidge smiled weakly and patted the arm that Lance had wrapped around her shoulders.

 

Hunk joined in on the Lance and Pidge hug. “Okay- my turn. I miss my stuffed owl the most. Lance, you remember Yola.”

 

Lance grinned from ear to ear. “How could I forget Yola! I gave her to you. I can’t believe you kept her! Is she doing good? Not too beaten up?”

 

Hunk smiled back at Lance. “Yola is doing fine. Before we… came out here, my moms would send updates whenever they emailed me about where my sister was and where Yola was… last I heard, they were in London, touring St. Paul’s Cathedral.”

 

Shiro raised his hand. “What are you talking about? Who’s Yola?”

 

Hunk and Lance smiled at the same time, like crazy conspirators. “Yola is my favorite stuffed animal. She’s a red owl. In German, ‘owl’ is translated to ‘Eule’, and I wanted to name her Yola after a girl that I used to know and because ‘Yola’ and ‘Eule’ sounded similar,” Hunk said.

 

Shiro still looked confused. “Okay, but why is this… Yola in London?”

 

“My sister takes her on trips around the world. She runs a pretty popular travel blog called ‘Yola’s Travels,’ where she takes pictures of Yola in front of famous monuments. They’ve been to the Eiffel Tower, the Tokyo Tower, the Tower of London, some places that aren’t towers…. Oh yeah, the Berlin Wall- Yola got really popular in Germany when they realized that ‘Yola’ was a bastardization of ‘Eule’. I don’t really know why.”

 

Lance smiled. “The best pictures on her blog are the ones with Yola and her rightful owners, Hunk and I. We love our child.”

 

Pidge pouted. “I thought I was your child.”

 

“Hush, Pidge. Hunk and I can have more than one child.”

 

Hunk fiddled with his thumbs for a bit. “Yeah, that’s it. Shiro, I think it's your turn.”

 

Shiro seemed a little nervous. “Really? I thought I had a while to go,” he said.

 

Lance shook his head. “Nope, Hunk’s right. Definitely your turn.”

 

Shiro bowed his head. “Alright, alright. What I miss the most about Earth is all the amazing and unique cultures-”

 

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Lance interrupted. “New rule- what you miss has to have a personal meaning to you. We’re not talking about the reason we’re protecting Earth. We’re talking about what makes Earth so amazing and beautiful in the most little ways. And it should be specific. Because I want all the dirty details of your life.”

 

Shiro looked a little taken aback. “Okay… Then what I miss most about Earth is the festivals I used to go to, back in Japan. You’ve all seen at least one slice-of-life anime, right?”

 

Shamefully, they all nodded.

 

“Right,” Shiro blazoned on. “Glad to know you’re all total weebs. It’s a little like that. Lanterns. Winning goldfish to take home. Fun times. I used to go to them with my mom and dad. It’s like… it was a real experience to go to festivals, like I was stepping into another world or something.” He paused for a moment, but then didn’t pick up his train of thought again.

 

Hunk shifted from giving Pidge and Lance hugs and pats on the back to giving Shiro a long and comfortable hug. Shiro melted into his arms, surrounded by warmth and good feelings.

 

Lance turned his shit-eating grin to Keith. “Well, resident emo man? What do you miss the most?”

 

Keith shrugged. “Why didn’t we invite Allura and Coran to this? I’m sure they would have appreciated it.”

 

Lance stared at Keith for a moment, then his eyes widened with horror. “Oh my goodness. You’re right. Pidge, Hunk, we’re terrible human beings and we need to get Allura and Coran in here asap.”

 

***

 

“Thanks for inviting us, Paladins! I miss a lot of things about Altea, that’s for sure, but the thing I miss most… I’d have to say it was Allura’s father, King Alfor. He was a paragon of virtue and piety and loyalty. He was nothing but kind and hard-working. King Alfor was a fantastic ruler and all his subjects loved him. When he was working with the original Voltron paladins, they all obeyed his every command without question because they knew that what he said was said for the benefit of the universe and the enlightenment of all living things.” Coran wrapped up his speech with a weary smile. “I just miss him a lot. And I know that I’ll never see him again, and it’s kind of hard.”

 

Lance almost elbowed Hunk in the face when they both tried to give Coran a hug at the same time.

 

Allura smiled, then cleared her throat. “Thank you for that moving speech about my father, Coran. I’m sure that if any Alteans were here with us today, they would appreciate such kind and loving words about their caring ruler.”

 

Pidge mock-scowled at her. “Get on with it, Princess,” she growled in a terrible British accent. No one knew why until Hunk whispered, “Monty Python and the Holy Grail, guys…” and a chorus of soft ‘ooh’s rippled among the humans in the room.

 

“What’s that?” Allura asked.

 

Hunk grinned. “Only the greatest movie ever made, Allura. It's satirizing a legendary king, filmed in the, uh, seventies, made by a group who do comedy sketches. Anyways, I'll talk more about it later- we're focusing on you, Princess.”

 

Allura smiled sheepishly. “Okay. Sounds interesting, this movie. So. What I miss the most about Altea is the diverse wildlife. No, Lance, listen- this does have an important meaning for me. My father often organized trips to our national parks for publicity, you know how it is. It was one of the few things that really excited me as a child, to get out of the palace and into the fresh air… it was really amazing. I miss Altea.”

 

Pidge scooted over to give Allura a hug, and Allura wrapped her arms around Pidge’s shoulder. They started stroking each other’s hair, and almost simultaneously said, “Your hair is so soft!”

 

Everyone watched them for a minute before Pidge’s composure cracked and she giggled. Then everyone was laughing. Even Keith cracked a small, tense smile.

 

In all the commotion that bringing Allura and Coran to the group caused, almost everyone forgot that Keith didn’t actually say what it was he missed, and he was able to start another round.

 

Lance missed his entire family, and the special nights when his entire family would gather- and there were a lot of family members to gather. Lance was Cuban, so he really got the importance of family connection and the drama that would occur- “Divorces, marriages, babies, and all the falling-outs. Tia Lisa didn’t speak to Tia Juanita for like a month- it was crazy. My cousin Raquel and her brother used to get so mad at each other, sometimes they wouldn’t even look at each other. Tia Elisa tried to get them to talk- Hunk, she’s their mom, remember?- but then they wouldn’t speak to her... And one time at Christmas, we were at my uncle’s house and he has a pool, and my cousin Aaron splashed my cousin Maddie in her nice dress and she got so mad, she didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night. Then she got freaked out about the fact that we were roasting a whole pig, you know how it is- she would stare at the eyes and not go near it all day. Her mom married a white dude, so they didn’t come around as much. I miss her a lot. I miss all my family.”

 

Hunk missed the sky. “It’s not the same out here. Lance, Pidge, you know the first Tumblr post- Do you like the color of the sky? or something like that- I used to hate it so much, but now I miss it, and I get it- I do like the color of the sky, every different color that it could be. I miss seeing the sunset and the sunrise. There are so many different colors that you don’t get when you live in the endless black hole of space. Sure, there are stars, but they’re not the same stars, and there’s only ever stars.”

 

Pidge missed her dog. “His name is _not Rover, I named Rover after the Mars Rover, why didn't anyone get that-_ his name is Alfredo and he’s beautiful and I miss him. My mom better be taking good care of him. He’s a rescue- his old owners used to hit him… he didn’t deserve that. He’s the sweetest dog ever. I want to pet him again.”

 

Shiro missed his books. “I want to curl up and read Harry Potter one more time. You get it, right? There are so many books out there that I think, ‘Wow, I might not ever read them or see them ever again!’ It hurts my head to think about all the words that I’ll never read. For Pete’s sake, I was only halfway through the Discworld collection! It’s not fair. I wish Amazon delivered to space.”

 

Coran missed the food back on Altea. “I know none of you like the food goo. Well, I don’t either. It tastes disgusting, it looks disgusting, and it feels disgusting. There were fresh fruits and vegetables and treats back on Altea, and I’ll be damned if I don’t miss being able to spend an afternoon in the kitchen preparing something for the king and princess!”

 

Allura missed the music. “It was truly an amazing night, when my father and I would attend an evening celebration of Altean art and music. I would walk around, buying prints and things from artists, listening to music- everything was outdoors, too. There’s no feeling in the universe like walking around Altea at night, looking at all the unique art, listening to a beautiful and elegant composition outside, with the smell of flowers and the colors of the sunset fading above you.”

 

***

 

“Alright! Everyone’s gone at least once, which leads us to our last confession- Keith!” Lance pointed with both hands to Keith, who was sitting as far away from everyone else as he could.

 

Keith looked away and wrapped his blanket around himself tighter. “I’ll pass. It’s getting late, we should sleep.”

 

“C’mon, Keith, buddy. You’ve got to have something to say.”

 

Keith pursed his lips. “There’s not much for me to say, really.”

 

Lance scowled and crossed his arms. “We’ve all gone. Why can’t you share what you’re thinking about?”

 

Keith burrowed deeper into his blanket. “It's late. I can’t really think so straight.”

 

“It’s not that late, Keith. Everyone else is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. And speaking of- what was it that you said the first time we all went around? I know you said something, I just can’t for the life of me remember what it was you said.”

 

“Um.” Keith felt his chest tighten a little, felt his heart speed up a little. “I don’t remember either.”

 

Lance narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, maybe that’s because you didn’t go at all, Keith.”

 

Everyone else’s eyes got wider as they realized that yes, Lance was right, Keith didn’t go.

 

Keith avoided their gazes. “Here’s the funny thing, though. I actually don’t really miss anything. I know, how weird, right?” He laughed, but it came out hollow and he stopped after a second.

 

“Surely you’ve got to miss something,” Hunk said. “It’ll be easier to cope with once you get it off your chest.”

 

“Yeah, man, Pidge added. “Don’t you miss your family? Your friends? The food, the sky- there has to be something.”

 

Keith stayed silent. He could feel a heat building between his eyes, like what happens when he has too many emotions and he can’t let them out right. Any more of this, he thought, and he’d explode-

 

Shiro chimed in, softly and gently, like he was talking to a child. “What about our days at the Garrison? What do you miss, Keith?”

 

He barely even thought about it- kicking the blanket aside fiercely, rising to the bait- “There’s nothing! I don’t miss anything! Earth was horrible to me- and I can’t even miss my family, I never had any! I’m an orphan, for God’s sake- and that means no family, almost always no friends- it wasn’t like, like Annie or anything! So no, I don’t miss my family! No mom, no dad, no siblings… And food? Food is a family thing, too- you don’t really think about it, but recipes are passed down generation after generation, and cooking is a family affair- you don’t think about it, but I do, because I never had any family recipes or any family to cook with or eat with! I can’t count the times I had to depend on the kindness of strangers- soup kitchens, food trucks, greasy fast food joints, even if I didn’t have any money- I never had a sit-down meal, never saying grace- even if I wanted to say it-

 

“And don’t even get me started on that hellhole of the highly esteemed Galaxy Garrison, Shiro. Being held up as an impossibly high standard basically ruined any chance I had of connecting with my peers. I was alone- I was born alone, I lived alone, and I'm going to die alone, and I felt that the most at the Garrison. It was a fresh start for something that was exactly the same as the rest of my life. And then I got kicked out- nowhere to go, no family to return to, no one to take me in- why do you think I ended up living in a shack in the middle of the desert, a million miles away from any civilization?

 

“So no, I don’t miss anything!”

 

Keith was breathing hard, watching everyone watch him with fire in his eyes, chest heaving, head ringing. There was nothing to say- no words, no actions- it was obvious (so he hoped) that he wanted to be left alone, ideally for a decade.

 

If no one tries to stop you, it’s probably a good idea, he thought as he left.

 

***

 

“Well,” Allura said pointedly, “that boy has some issues.”

 

“No shit, Sherlock.” Lance shook his head. “I almost feel bad for him, you know?”

 

Hunk stared at the door with empty eyes. It wasn’t clear who he was addressing, but he spoke all the same. “I know I feel bad for him. That boy needs a hug.”

 

Pidge put her head in her hands. “Can we stop calling Keith ‘that boy’? It feels wrong. He has a name. I’m sure he’d like it if we used it.”

 

Hunk winced slightly. “You’re right. Keith needs a hug.”

 

Allura sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’m sure Keith wants to be left alone for awhile, paladins. That was a very emotional outburst.”

 

“That’s not healthy, Allura, not for humans,” Hunk said. “It’s always best to talk your feelings out.”

 

“Like Lance said. There aren’t any therapists in space, so we’re all we’ve got.” Shiro had to say it. Sometimes Lance had good ideas.

 

Hunk frowned. “When did Lance say that?”

 

Lance waved his hand dismissively. “Not important. What is important- who’s going to be the one to comfort Keith?”

 

“Not me,” Pidge said, “we’re not very close. I’m not sure he even likes me, you know?”

 

“Not me,” Shiro said, “I don’t have any good words to give. And I’m tied with the Garrison so completely- and he hates that- I don’t know if he hates me too.”

 

“Not me,” Allura said. “I’m too mean. I’m more of a leader than a mom. It’s like what they said back on Altea- ‘She’ll never be a good mother. Not a nurturing bone in her body.’ You know how it is- it’s something I don’t miss. Just- not me.”

 

“Not me,” Coran said. “I would, but I don’t think I can give him what he needs. I know that he’s hurting, but I also know that he’s a private person and I don’t know him well enough to be there when he needs someone.”

 

“Not me,” Lance said. “He hates me. I haven’t been nice to him at all. And I rubbed it into his face- going on and on about my family when he doesn’t have any at all… I’m a horrible person.” He put his head in his hands.

 

Hunk went over to give Lance a hug. “You’re not a bad person, Lance. You didn’t know.”

 

Lance smiled weakly at him. “Thanks, Hunk.”

 

Hunk smiled at the rest of the group. “Me, then.” He gently let go of Lance and stood up. “I’ll go.”

 

Everyone watched him with wide eyes. “You don’t have to,” Shiro said. “I should go- it’s my duty as your leader and as his friend-”

 

Hunk put his hand up and kept smiling. Shiro shut up. “No offense, Shiro,” Hunk began, “but I don’t think you’re the right one to help Keith now. You don’t have to lead all the time, you know- let us help out sometimes.”

 

Shiro looked like a lost puppy. “I don’t- are you sure?”

 

“Yes.” The best thing to do right now, Hunk thought, would be to just smile and insist. It’s what he had to do whenever his family were being too polite, or when he knew he was right but people just assumed he was wrong because he didn’t look smart- Just smile and insist. Out-polite them, was what Lance called it.

 

Yeah. Just out-polite them.

 

***

 

There was a knock in his door. Keith didn’t quite process it. He was staring at his hands, not thinking at all- he wasn’t crying, he had been for a couple minutes but that was over now- he was just spacing out.

 

There was another knock on his door. Keith felt his body move to answer it- or someone’s body, he wasn’t sure if it was his, it didn’t feel like his body- you know how it is when you’ve had a lot of emotions but when they’ve gone you don’t feel like your body is connected to you? That was Keith right now- and when it slid open, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting but on second thought Hunk was the best choice, maybe not the right choice but for sure the best one-

 

“Hey,” Hunk whispered, and he made all the thoughts flying around Keith’s head- I thought you weren’t thinking- finally stop and fall into place.

 

“Hey,” Keith croaked back. He cleared his throat- when had it become so raspy?- and stepped aside to let Hunk in.

 

“So,” Hunk said. He moved to sit on the bed.

 

“So,” Keith said back. He stayed where he was, by the doorway. Best to have some distance right now, he thought.

 

“You have emotions,” Hunk said. “Want to talk about it?”

 

“Nah,” Keith said. “Not much to talk about. I got angry for a second, but I guess I’m over it now.”

 

“Oh.” Hunk watched his feet, feeling the discomfort radiating off of Keith like some kind of emotional space heater.

 

“So could you-”

 

“Why don’t you-”

 

Keith and Hunk stared at each other for a second, then both said, “You go first. No, you.”

 

Hunk laughed, and Keith gave a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You go first,” Keith said. “What I was going to say wasn’t very nice anyway.”

 

Hunk hesitated for a moment, then said, “If you’re really over it, why don’t you come back with me? The others are worried about you, I’m sure they’d like to see if you’re okay. Shiro’s really worried about you, you know.”

 

Keith made a face and looked at the wall. “I don’t really want to see them right now. It’ll be awkward- it’ll always be somewhat awkward now, you know? We’ll be sitting there, eating dinner, and one of us- probably me- will think, ‘Remember that time when Keith didn’t miss anything about Earth? How embarrassing.’ And we’ll have this mood over the whole rest of dinner, like that thought is a knife hanging over everyone’s heads- You get it, right? I don’t want a knife hanging above my head right now.”

 

“That’s fair,” Hunk said. “No knives. Got it.”

 

They twiddled their thumbs for another minute. Finally, Hunk said, “So what were you going to say earlier?”

 

Keith winced. “Uh, I was going to ask you to leave. Sorry. I don’t mean it now, I just… I’m a little nervous right now, and I don’t know why. I don’t know. You don’t have to leave, if you don’t want. To. Yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

 

Hunk patted the bed. “Why don’t you sit down? Take a load off. You know.”

 

Keith looked at Hunk uncertainly, then quietly made his way over, maybe thinking Hunk would stop him and say, ‘No, Keith, never mind, you can’t sit next to me and I have to leave.’ He didn’t, though, and Keith tried to push that thought out of his mind.

 

He sat down gingerly on the bed, a couple feet away from the other body- it’s a little awkward, you gotta admit, having another body on such a small bed- and fiddled with the blanket.

 

Hunk pulled him into a one-arm hug, resulting in a squeak from Keith and a feeling of dissatisfaction from Hunk. Keith’s bony, and he was very tense.

 

Oh- he probably didn’t get a lot of hugs growing up, Hunk thought. Orphan, remember?

 

“Relax,” Hunk whispered. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

 

Keith just looked up at Hunk, worry in his eyes. Softly, after a million years, he said, “Promise?”

 

Keith thought about all the broken promises in his life in that one second before Hunk answered- The one time in second grade, remember, you hit someone on accident and they promised not to tell- or that time in fifth grade, not long after, someone hit you and you promised not to tell- and that summer when they promised to get you a good family this time but justice delayed is justice denied, that goes for promises too- and in middle school, when that woman promised she’d- no, not that, move away from that- freshman year, they promised you wouldn’t have to leave the city- first year in the garrison, your promised yourself you wouldn’t get too attached to the place, you’ll be leaving soon enough- later, during the desert, when you promised the moon and stars that you wouldn’t leave them again, or lose it like you had before-

 

All those and more.

 

“Promise,” Hunk said.

 

***

 

Keith had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders again. Everyone was looking at him patiently, like they cared about what he was going to say- even Lance, who always was the antagonizer.

 

He didn’t feel a sense of family, not yet. It would take time. He felt companionship, friendliness, and he could remember kept promises with these people, and soon enough he would be relaxed and comfortable and not freeze up at an unfamiliar hand on his shoulder (all the hands on his shoulder were unfamiliar, but soon enough) or expect abandonment (even though it still could happen, soon enough).

 

“I miss the desert,” Keith said. “I miss the silence and the clear sky. I miss seeing thunderstorms on the horizon and being able to smell the rain, even being a hundred miles away. I miss staying inside during sandstorms and feeling my heart beat along with the wind. I miss finding small pockets of life where there shouldn’t be any- the owls, the cacti, the lizards- maybe not the lizards. I miss being able to scream to the world and sometimes hear it scream back- with its wind and storms and coyote howls a hundred miles away. I miss the cliffs and the caves and the mesas and the plateaus and the views- oh, I miss the views. I miss the sunset, the way the sky would light up in a thousand different shades of red, most of them colors you didn’t even know existed. I miss the nights to follow, when the sky was littered with stars- when it was warm enough, I would sleep outside, even though there were coyotes. I miss my shack- even though it was rundown and abandoned- even if there was one room and I slept on the most disgusting couch in the world- even though it didn’t always keep out the sand and dirt and some animals- I miss it, because it was the best home I’d ever had. I miss my books- there was one on constellations and their history, there was a survival book that I wish I had brought with me, and there was one fantasy book about a queen and her struggle to take back her kingdom. I miss walking a mile to the closest well each morning to get all the water for the day, because another mile out from the well there was the ruins of a mission that no one ever went to because it probably hadn’t been discovered- it was half covered in sand, but it was beautiful.

 

“I don’t have a lot of things to miss. But I miss the desert, and I know now- if I ever lost any of you, I would miss you too.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> HOO BOY OKAY
> 
> This is probably my favorite thing I've written! I love it so much I had to physically restrain myself from posting this too early
> 
> PLEASE give the author comments, I thrive on them and I need feedback constantly!! pleasepleaseplease
> 
> (also spot the obvious self-insert again lmao)


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